Things That Remain Unsaid

Late night phone conversations

Silent pauses don’t keep me waiting

I’m falling into a deep sleep

Then you speak and say that you heard the words of me saying “I love you”

I quickly responded

“I didn’t say that out loud”

Now you’re in my head? because in reality those are the words I said..

My heart dropped

*deep breath*

I’ll admit

It’s you that I want

I got you, I love you

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart

Those words are hard to come out

Maybe I’m scared, so I should say I’m scared but you say, “Have no fear my dear I won’t leave you alone wherever you go I’ll go.”

His words not mine

You know how I feel which it is real

The time has come to recognize the truth the truth that I love you 

I give thanks to my maker for you my dear.

Just a snippet of what he’s said to reassure me that this love is safe.

More things left unsaid that I’ve said in my head but to shy to tell you my true feelings that I feel in my heart

as write I feel warm inside

You give me butterflies 🦋

I pray this love never dies

For its you I hope to spend the rest of my life with..

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Clarity

Living through someone else’s dreams

Just to see them happy,

Slowly drowning in silence

A battle between herself and fear

She’s always wanted the best for the ones whom she loved

She realized you could want the best for them but in the process she needs to toughen up

Let them know that she supports your dream, but her dream isn’t your dream although there are similarities

She shows consistency in ways that many people are too blind to see, who are they to judge?

She does it for she

Not to please or have anyone doubt her dream

Tough love is LOVE, but she knows the difference when someone is being rough

She would never try to sabotage someones dream especially if she too has a dream that she’s in the process to achieve

She thought they were on the same page but when things went left, she got slapped in the face

She became vulnerable at a time where she needed space and that one person closes to her didn’t understand nor didn’t care to ask if everything was okay

She didn’t care for sympathy,  or follow up to say how is everything going but instead tell her everything she was doing wrong instead of making things right,

You see she knows when to admits her wrongs but at this time she sees no fault perhaps that person was too caught up, too blinded to ask her what’s wrong

this experience showed her clarity of reality that no one is going care for you more than YOU care for you.

What sets us up most in life is expectations of when you go through a rough time we expect our friends to be there like you did for them

She realized that in the past when a friend was in need she didn’t do it because she would want to expect the same in return but because she actually cared and hate to see her friend stressed and hurt

She tells herself  “People wonder why I don’t talk or express as much as I use to, because in the end of it all no one is going to care but you.”

She’s content that everything happens for a reason

Everyone has their season

In this case what we needed was clarification, and communication

Now she leaves it up to God, in which she knows he does no wrong.

 

Visuals Come to Life

There was a time in her  life where she would visualize about the perfect guy

She realized when she opened her eyes, she had him in mind.

He was right there all along, they started off as friends and became something more

“You’re too much” is what she would say, his response would be “I’m more than enough”

Which is true she feels God has blessed her with him,  she feels this is true.

He knows how to make her smile, at times when she feels blue most of the time he has no clue

He came at the right time, when everything in her life seemed lost, she felt lost, she was lost,

In need of clarity, at times she would tell him “she’s not ready” to take it to the next level of what they could be

But he believed in her,  he was patient and still is, that means more than words can speak…. the world to her

Often times she doesn’t speak but he seems to understand her,  She speaks with action and emotion

This love language of hers is something special and quite hard to define.

End result of all this “you’re officially mine and I’m officially yours.”

Last night he expressed a meaningful word that she will keep close to her heart, for he brought her visuals to life.

 

 

Flashing Lights 💫

To love me is to know me
This is for you, my love my number one
Never have I ever had someone to miss
Never have I ever had someone to kiss
Never have I ever drove 12 hours just to see you smile from ear to ear
Did you notice me?
Little me
Staring at you on that stage while the crowd engages to the melody of those hands that work magic when played on your favourite instrument
To them I’m “just another face in the crowd”
To you I’m your superstar, I wear the crown I’m whom you call your queen
You say my demeanor is mean
And I’m something special like no other woman you’ve ever seen
My lady friends always saw what I was blinded to
I truly believed you were just a friend, but our bond is like no other how did we pretend that we wanted to be more than just friends.
Never have I ever wrote a poem so warm
I want to show you off and let the whole world know
That I am blessed the day that I’ve found you, a dream come true
revealed in a way I never imagined
Is this life?
I’m no baby anymore
I met you when I was “young”
Look!
I’ve grown
You’ve grown, apart from me for quite some time
Two years later and no need to rewind but press play because we’ve been put on pause for too long.
Will you be?
I see its time for you to focus on you and perhaps focus on me
No more living behind the scenes
your future is brighter than it seems flashing lights is all I see
Off tour you had a long run
But did it take you that long to realize
That I am the one?

 

 

You Are Not Alone

You are not alone
For every battle you go through
I want you to smile through the pain
Because this “pain” is preparing you for what you’re about to gain
I know it feels as if you are about to go insane
Hang in there I promise you the chains are about to break.
No one but you knows what you’re going through
Because what makes us different is the story of our lives
That only you can one day tell
The struggle is the most beautiful part think of it as a beautiful work of art
Which YOU are
Limited edition
You are destined for greatness
You have purpose
I promise
YOU HAVE PURPOSE
You are WORTH IT
To those silent cries you once cried
You can now wipe those tears and
Accept that everything will be alright
Because you are not alone
Same pain with different stories being told
You are loved
You are valued
You are beautiful

Keep smiling because a smile attracts good people without words
Positive life full of positive vibes
TRUST and BELIEVE
Everything will be alright.
I care
We care
With love,

Crystal Bri.

This poem is dedicated to all the beautiful and strong women at the Ernestine’s Women Shelter. I commend you, remember this is not the end! No one said the road would be easy but it’s worth it, every tear, every hurt, every scar, every cry, is moulding you into the strong woman that you are, you are destined for greatness and have purpose. Make us proud! You have cheerleaders. With love, you are loved.

Crystal Bri.

/.\/.\LIY/.\H

Let’s take it back down memory lane..

16 years later
Only 22
When the world lost you
No one, even strangers
Didn’t want to believe the news
Four days prior you talked about the video shoot on 106 & Park
Your last interview
Rock The Boat
You were stoked, because it was your next single
From New York to Miami to the final destination of what would be your last,
Bahamas with plans of going back to to Australia to finish
Queen of the damned
Damn!
You wrapped up a day early
You used it as a opportunity to fly out to see family, you were suppose to make it back in one piece
Now this is where the story gets deep
The world froze the news broke international
That was 16 years ago.
Today your legacy continues to grow
In your short time of life
You’ve touched many lives
You were One in a Million
You were More than a Woman
You were Hot like Fire
At your best are loved
Your music still lives on
We Miss you
We still Care 4 U
Continue to sleep in peace

sleeping beauty.

 

Happy Quater Century, sis

Strong 

Beautiful

Ambitious

Motivating

Child of God
I often view you as the struggling rose 🌹 that grew from the concrete.
Imagine that?
The impossible became the POSSIBLE
when you discovered YOU
To whom I’m proud to call
My friend
My sister
My family
My other half

Thank you, for allowing me, Bri
To be on this journey with you
Thirteen plus years strong until forever and beyond
To watch you become everything you are today
With many more memories to make that will NEVER fade.
I Thank You
For believing in me when I couldn’t believe in myself
I Thank You
For taking me out of my comfort zone when I wasn’t “comfortable” in my own skin
I Thank You
For the time you make when I’m in need of a shoulder to cry on.
I Thank You
For having a big part of me becoming a better me.
Enough about me
Let’s focus on this Quarter Century
A milestone indeed
Now it’s time to really get this money
Let’s finally turn our dreams into reality
With God first we have no worries
Your words not mine “You got this, we got this.
Cliche but a reminder I live by each day!
I could go on and on like my favourite Aaliyah song
But a reminder to you
and these words I speak are true
Keep shining
Keep grinding
Keep smiling
Keep loving
Stay consistent
Stay strong

&&
Never forget that

Crystal Bri

LOVES YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL

p.s check out my fashionistas blog at http://www.stacyannj.ca/?m=1

 

 

I am the one

IMG_1919Worthy so worthy
Glorious beyond words
*Takes a deep breath*
Go it’s now your turn
To unwind her mind
He’s so kind but take your time
What is mine will be mine
She ask, “What’s your purpose in my life?”
He replied,
“For you to eventually become my wife”
Sounds nice, but this feeling, is it right?
Thoughts of caution scarred from previous relations with other men who said this and that with no action to back up those beautiful words that left her hurt
Until she met you, she wants to believe you are true because you accept everything she’s been through
Man of God
That’s all she wanted and she’s found it in you.
Could it be?
Him, the man of her dreams
He makes her feel safe in ways it’s hard for her to embrace
please stay and don’t go
she feels you’re the one worth fighting for.
All she ask is be patient with her because she’s quiet and her guard is up
She’s a dying flower that needs to be filled will love
But she remains strong even though the storm is rough
You make her laugh because, well yes your amusing
Your sense of humour gets her going
She looks at a photo of you and her and calls it love
Your eyes staring at her smile
That’s more than enough
Just remember her heart is fragile
No you don’t take advantage
You continue to show her
That’s she’s worth
Every scar
Every bruise
He’s your human bandage to heal those wounds
He’s the kind of man you bring momma to
He said he’d do anything to prove that there is no need to worry
“I am the one for you.”

 

 

What they really want?

Never had she experienced love

What is love?

A word that cannot be explained 

But a feeling of climax not when we touch 

But when our minds touch feeding her knowledge, wisdom into her empty heart of impenetrable guard 

no man could pass the test because she hasn’t yet met the man who can compliment her dreams and aspirations all they really want is her body which

Curiosity, has it’s part
Is it just her body?
Or does it include her heart?
We can’t make moves until she’s sure

Not for sale so you can choose to wait

So what do you really want?

Just be straight up

because she will NOT waste no time with a man although he may be fine. 

Can you seduce her with your mind?

More than just making her smile

At her age she’s pretty wise

So you decide, am I

or sorry

“she” the apple of your eye?

Only time will tell.

So tell me,

what do you really want?

 

 

He Listened

He listened

He cared

I never ever had to reassure that he was there

not physically but just so he can hear my cry

when everyone around me seems to be blind

I talk and they’re there but not listening to the words I speak.

They ask why I don’t speak as much as I use to, a waste of breath

So I rely on him, I go to him.

He’s there whenever I need him, literally a phone call away

So why do I stray away at times?

This path is not easy but I’m trying,

trying my best, I’ve been put through a test

but you still accept me at my worst and I will give you my best

as I write, the words just flow

I’ve had writers block for quite sometime now.

Lost in my thoughts, spaced out

Take a deep breathe

I’ve been reassured that everything will be alright.