Fighting to Live

She cries,

“Why am I trying to give

When no one gives me a try?

Why am I trying to live

If I’m just living to die”

Young girl

Beautiful,

Breathtaking 

I noticed a huge insecurity from a mile

She smiled in disguise

She smiled as if everything was fine

I see past her smile, there is pain in her eyes

I sit her down and say,

“It’s okay you can confide in me and cry

I look at you and I see a younger me

Lost in world but lived worldly 

That’s why no beautiful smile can ever past me 

I feel your pain and I know it’s not easy, but believe me 

There are brighter day you’ll see…”

She cuts me off and says that I don’t understand 

Confused and puzzled like why are you telling me this

Eventually she opened up a tad bit

Her: “There’s more to this pain then just a “man”

I’m fighting each day for a life that I feel that’s not worth living 

Why am I trying to give

When no one gives me a try?

Why am I trying to live

If I’m just living to die

I’ve been diagnosed 

I’m sick and broken how could this be when I KNOW that I HAVE GREATER PURPOSE everyone just sees me as this happy person

I’m stressed and confused and I don’t know what to do 

Believe me this isn’t easy to live with

I try to talk to those closest, they cut me off and say nothing

Alone I feel, that’ why it’s hard to open up you feel.. me now?

At home in my room with a FULL HOUSE too and yet still no one to talk to.”

I looked at her and smiled right through her eyes

Hugged her in time just before she started to cry

I could tell she hasn’t had one of those in a long time

It was a cry for a help and I thought to myself, there is nothing I can do for this young lady 

Instead to offer my time, love, affection and support 

Something she’s been missing for years

By the tone of her voice and her eye contact was at a bare minimum

I wanted to help her so bad, but didn’t know how

I thought to myself let me show her, her authentic self

Encourage her each day, even offer my house to stay 

Anything to make sure she was more than just okay

To help her know that she is loved and she will loved, true love starts from within and God is LOVE

That he would never leave his children astray, 

I proudly can say that God has brought me through a MAZE 

I say this to say that God will have you AMAZED

I promise that you will genuinely smile again, laugh again and love again

God is not man that he shall lie

So trust him and accept me as I didn’t stop by to simply say “Hi”

That there was more to this interaction then just a hi 

But to be your physical cheerleader and your support through this hard time which I will add is a blessing in disguise.

Don’t you ever hesitate to call me

Anything you need I will supply

You have gained a sister

A sister in Christ

And together sis, I want to see you Shine and see you Rise

and let us prove that the Devil is a lie

I promise you’ll be just fine

It’s the process of hardship that will allow you to live a beautiful life.

 

Until The End of Time

Take these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
So I can fly away, till the end of time..

Life keeps going

Cars keep driving 

Life is happening 

When one dies, another life rises

Love me

Love her

Love him

While they’re still here 

Instead of paying your last respects in uncontrollable tears

Meanwhile she’s alive and she hasn’t flashed a smile in a long while
Her attitude got her walking’ solo, ride out alone in her lo-lo
Watching the whole world move in slow-mo

For quiet times she disappears, and listens to the ocean

It’s the sound of the waves and the sky with those piercing clouds that keep her going

Conversations with the Father, the most high 

Who tells her,

“Concentrate, and keep going 

Reflect and look at all that you’ve done, closer to your dreams and I your Father am not done

You’re doing a taste of all that you said wanted to do, don’t you ever forget that my word is true, I give you all of what your heart desires and even better than what you’d ever expect

So my child you’re having trouble accepting, accepting a lot of which is no good, just stand still and be patient, follow my lead, my guidance and you will just be fine.”

She opens her eyes, the tears have dried and tells herself she will be just fine! Moving forward with peace, love and happiness she chooses to focus on those whom love and respect her back and appreciates her presence she considers those people in her life a blessings now these are tears of acceptance

Love.

Laugh Again

Laugh again

Smile again

From the jump

With you and I, there was no pretend

Trust and honesty

To be honest that’s how it’s suppose to be

I get you and you get me

Already?

Laugh again

Smile again

I never knew, so soon I’d pursue

It’s been a while,  I’ve walked miles in search of you

Something new

Something new

All she ever needed was something new

Could part of it be in you?

She said wanted a horse ranch

Surprisingly he didn’t laugh 

He insisted that wasn’t a bad idea

My kinda guy

I know it’s only the beginning stage

However I told him my story

He didn’t run away

Instead he wiped my tears and told me that I’d be okay and that those jerks didn’t deserve me anyway.

Reassured me that he is here to stay and won’t leave me astray

Time brought us together I had to go through to get to you.

Too soon?

But we take it slow, pace by pace this thing we got isn’t a race

We look at each other and already predicted the finish line 

Him and I 

With the others it’s too late

Him and I will be great

I guarantee you, the entire world will know our name

We will make change, for the better

An impact like no other

Thank you for allowing me to..

Laugh again and Smile again

 

May I Encourage You?

May I encourage you?

Speak life into you, not through the words of my own 

But through action and realization that no, you are not alone

Now, look up at me and listen 

I’m only one phone call

Just one call away

Even when you push me away

You’ll come running back and I’ll greet and love you 

With open arms each day

Putting your head on my chest to rest 

Wiping your tears 

Reassuring you, that you’re on your way to better days

Don’t you remember?

your status has changed

Now rearrange your mind

Get on your grind

Consistently 

And in no time you’ll know why you had to break 

to crawl to walk to climb to rise and shine 

Like morning sunrise in the summertime 

That’s you I visualize 

With such piercing light a presence so heavy to ignite the inner you that needs to reveal itself on the outside 

No more crying 

No more complaining 

Don’t you forget the one above speaks his word of truth 

The process, it’s the process 

That has you patiently waiting 

Remain faithful,

Follow direction 

Listen with discretion 

You are a blessing, 

Be open to learning lessons through your mistakes 

Get on your knees and pray at least more than three times a day

No more repeats of what was toxic back then

You are in a stage of 

New beginnings

New things

New money

and new rings

So cling to those who fit right with your spirit 

Elevate you high where you now live life everyday like it’s Christmas

I scream prosperity and success 

For it is written

It’s already done. 

This new journey of yours has already begun.

Reflection of…

As I reflect, as I reflect

As I put the second last piece to this unfinished puzzle

I now realize the missing piece is you

It’s too late

I pushed you away

We both made mistakes

We both went our separate ways

Somehow you always came back to me 

At the time I was too blind to see

I felt I still needed space to breathe

I thought to myself is he really the one for me?

Brian McKnight’s ‘The Only One for Me” continuously on repeat

I made the final decision to finally leave without saying a word

He’d call or send a text and I’d ignore 

Something like trying to start over, but I was over thought of us.

A year passed I get a call, or my phone butt dialed my past

He asked,

“why so long? After ALL this time!”

We had long conversation of reminiscing which had me missing him, him missing me

He had said something that made me think, 

At that moment I had a epiphany

I was one moment too late. Was I?

It wasn’t meant for we to be 

Or else,

He would have waited…

Now the weight on my shoulder is no longer

I did what I had to do to protect my sanity

Truly I know he’s happy,

He’s now getting ready to start his own family. 

A reflection of…

Not everything we love is meant for us, sometimes we ought to let go, if it comes back that’s how we’ll know.

 

 

Just Tell Her (Turn The Page)

Just tell her

It’ll never be

It’ll never happen

As much as it may hurt

Better to cry now then to cry later

You can both turn the page, read on and continue on 

Instead of revisiting the same chapter

This may, be your favourite chapter

Yes, it has captured enough

Some of it was rough

But give her permission to turn the page 

No longer encouraging one another to stay on the same page 

Reading this over and over again 

At this pace this story will never end 

All because his indecisive a**

Won’t let go because he’s unsure 

So he hangs on close

Rather not take the risk of flipping the page

Who knows, a different chapter but the characters still remain

In a different light 

In a different form 

Could it be for better? Or for worse?

The next chapter is where the climax of this story unfolds

But until they turn the page

We will never know

 

 

 

Breakdown

Middle school crush

He was my high school love

We fell in love

Oh how we fell in love

“They” said we were too young to understand the concept of…

We got married young 

We were twenty and twenty one, what fun

Four years later arrived a little one 

Baby boy brought us both joy 

We named him Emani.. 

My little man & my true love

The only one that knows what my heart sounds like from the inside

Yet he watches me cry only if he could speak he’s only one years old

yet his face looks as if he would say

“Mommy it will be okay”

His dad comes home late at night and leaves before sunrise 

I act strong and let him go along as soon as he leaves I breakdown

“I’M BROKEN”

What was suppose to be “happily ever after” turned into a horrendous disaster 

Why after?

We made a promise not to ourselves but to the most high 

“Why?” is all that kept running through my mind

I want to leave

I gotta leave 

I gotta do what’s best for me 

I was really rooting for our little family

However my sanity is what matters to me 

No, I’m not being selfish 

I’m twenty five turning twenty six 

I think it’s safe to say that our fairytale of what was “perfect love”

has had it’s run, it was fun while it lasted

All those memories I will hold dear to me, to my heart

We grew a part

I was living with a stranger at times I felt in danger 

At this point we were just hanging on 

For what? I was tired , tired of pretending, tired of what seemed to be a never ending unhappiness of life with my child’s father, my husband by my side 

At this point I knew I had to do what was right

To my first love the string has now fallen a part 

I will ALWAYS  love you, but I have fallen out of being in love with you 

You changed, I changed together we changed, we no longer go the same

Thank you for my most precious gift 

Emani

You will always be my first love.

 

I never usually explain my written pieces, however this piece was inspired by this powerful picture, that I came across. It’s unfortunate I don’t know who the artist is I think his name may be Ray! I hope you all enjoyed this piece 

Love, Bri 

What is for YOU will ALWAYS be for YOU (Wait For Me)

On and off

Off and on

Maybe it hasn’t worked out because you’re suppose to be waiting for me

You feel your time is running out, you want to start a family 

Just listen to your gut and just wait for me

Start over?

No, We will pick up where we left off back in 20**

Where it was just you and me 

It was only for a second because you popped up and surprised me and I had already made plans, with me you’ll always have loyalty

It’s hard now because you’re far away

No more shows, or on the road, it’s time for you to work independently 

I’ve been busy, I’ve been occupied

*Laughs* That’s no excuse right?

I should be taking flights, but always made excuses

Why?

Remember, I remember, I remembered 

Another time soon we will discuss

Friends always, next level, 

Are you ready?

Am I ready?

Are we ready?

Wait for me?

Wait for we…

 

 

Intro: It’s COMING!

Long nights wondering, why?

Now did this really catch you by surprise?

Perhaps he told you “I love you” a thousand times

Reassurance came with a thousand lies

Bad break ups come with a thousand cries

Or maybe you just divorced your now ex wife

Life

Or maybe that business you had in mind failed miserably so now you think twice

Be wise

In this life there is always a prize

Your ex did you wrong, rebound

Your business failed, failure

Your wife left you, bad at love

Bad luck?

No, you’re blessed love

Now guess what?

Whatever you need and desire is coming back

Blessed with what you need and not what you want

My advice to you is just to trust God

The process is more than enough to help you face the challenges of when times get rough

Trust that he walks with you

He talks with you

He loves you

He knows your name and you my dear have not been forgotten in his eyes

So trust me when I say,

It’s Coming!

 

Speechless

To hear his voice again 

It’s been so long 

A random text, turned into a phone call

Lost for words

Moved on

She still feels hurt

He apologized recently

and mentioned he wanted her back secretly 

He reminisced on their good times

He had her in rewind, maybe thinking they should work things out one last time

A week or two later

Only to find out that he was engaged 

With a baby on the way

But just the other day you still referred to her as your baby

Saying he changed and has come a long way

Wise enough for her she didn’t fall the those words

This was her first love her first crush 

“This moment was suppose to be with me.”

She was crushed but happy for him with love

Man this is messed up

How did she come across this stuff?

She had blocked him everywhere the last time he had messed up

What is meant to be seen won’t get passed up

“I hope he’s truly happy, because it hasn’t been a year and you’ve already moved up.”

She must’ve hurt you that much 

She said she was sorry and reacted on being crushed, heartbroken, and second guessing if what you two really had, what is it love?

You’ve convinced her more than enough that it really was love, and that you had messed up and you didn’t want to give up

She tried but at the time she couldn’t pretend saying to herself

“it’s not fair”

So she walked away hoping one day, they’d be together again

She needed space and time to breathe again

A year later, 

A random text, turned into a phone call

Lost for words

Moved on

Congratulations on the new home

I cannot entertain what I now know.